Even MADTV Caught on to the "Circular" Thing

Miral's Mockingbirds, a Gilmore Girls' A Year in the Life Story

Coming soon.  See Miral on Fanfiction.net and Miral on AO3.

Choose Your Own Gilmore Adventure? Was there more than one ending to A Year in the Life?
I have spent a lot of time since A Year in the Life was released trying to understand the show. The Rory and Logan story arc, in particular, does not provide viewers with much insight into the characters' thoughts. For Logan, this is nothing new. We have never been given visibility into Logan's thoughts. We see what he does and doesn't do. We hear what he says and doesn't say. We've never been privy to him having expositional one-on-ones with Colin or Finn about his feelings.  As for Rory, over the course of the OS we were allowed some insight into her thoughts and this continued to some extent in AYITL via the conversations she had with Lorelai during "Spring" and Lane during "Summer". Ultimately, we weren't provided with enough information to understand what had brought them to the point they were at when we joined them. All we know is two people are having an affair. We don't know how it started, or when it started, whose idea it was, what they think about it, etc. So, from a storytelling perspective, the Palladinos gave us the actions but withheld any information regarding intent or motivation. We see what they're doing but we have no idea why. Not knowing why they're in the situation they're in, how could we possibly assess with any accuracy what the logical next steps would be?

Choose Your Own Gilmore Adventure?

Does anyone remember Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Stories?

I think the Palladinos wrote the show so that the ending could be interpreted alternatively as being fatalistic, romantic, yin-yang, or metaphysical. And, of course, some could choose to view it as a literal “full-circle” with Rory repeating Lorelai’s story of raising her child without its father.

First, what everyone needs to understand is Logan is crashing Lorelai and Luke's wedding. See 
The Firelight Festival: The True Meaning of "A Year in the Life" Cliffhanger Ending. According to the story Miss Patty tells the children at the Firelight Festival (S1E20) he comes. But if you don't believe in fairy tales (and I don't blame you) let's talk logic: Why does Rory tell Lorelai about the baby just hours before her wedding? Rationally speaking, there is nothing prompting Rory to drop that bombshell on Lorelai right then. It's Lorelai's day -her long-awaited wedding to Luke -and she should be allowed to enjoy it. Did you see the look of shock on Lorelai's face? Rory had to know the effect the disclosure would have on Lorelai. Why would she choose to do that to her mother?  Rory dropping the baby bombshell on Lorelai right before her wedding only makes sense if Rory felt she had no choice in regards to the timing. She had to say something. What would force her hand?  Logan.  Rory told Lorelai about the baby because she had to give her mother the heads up that Logan is coming.

Second, Rory makes several rather loaded comments in the hours leading up to the wedding that seem to support the idea that she is, well, moving away from Stars Hollow. She says - to Lorelai as she's running errands - "
I'm moving."  Saying "I'm on the move" or "I'm running around" would've made much more sense, contextually. This was a deliberate choice in wording.  Rory also tells Lorelai, "I have a million things I need to do today as well." It's not her wedding. Why is she suddenly so busy? Finally, she confides to Lorelai, a wistful tone in her voice, right before divulging the news of the pregnancy, "I wanna remember it all. Every detail." That sounds like she's coming to terms with leaving Stars Hollow permanently.

Full-Circle Single Mom: For the reasons above, I do not view the "full-circle" as Rory raising the child without Logan as supported by the dialogue and actions.  So let's move on to the other possible ending interpretations.

Gold-digger: Rory tells Emily to not worry about her in "Winter" that she is pursuing a "goal." She doesn't offer details so we don't know if she is referring to the book with Naomi Shropshire or if she means Logan and his trustfund. The dialogue seems to contain hints that point to a rather sordid story. Naomi says "Everything tastes so much better when it's stolen." Then there are the "gold-digger" comments during Lorelai and Emily's exchanges during "Summer." If Rory really were a gold-digger, why did she end things with Logan? Why did she refrain from answering his calls? Why did she stop calling him? She ought to have jumped to call him to let him know about the baby. Goal accomplished! But that wasn't her reaction. Instead, she visits her father and gives the situation a considerable amount of thought. So next.

Fatalistic: As long as one can navigate "the rule of three” (explained in S1E20) and "Do You See Her Face?" (from S4E20) and interpret the murky and often deliberately bullshit-infused dialogue- e.g. Rory telling Jess she doesn't have a car when we clearly see she has a car - viewers can try to get into the minds of Rory and Logan taking the fatalistic approach. Who is Rory fated to be with? Who is her one true love?  Who is her soulmate? When Logan arrives on Lorelai’s wedding day (Guy Fawkes Day - the date Logan said they'd next be together during their farewell in S6E22) if Rory accepts Logan, is she doing so only because she feels powerless to fight the perceived inevitability of her situation? Will Logan force Rory to marry him and steal her away to London? Will he keep her in a proverbial "cage"? (There were many metaphors hinting at this: Logan and his keys. The talking crow -a callback to Breakfast at Tiffany heroine Holly Golightly's "captivity" at the hands of her husband. The teacup shaped diner near a prison! symbolizing Logan's arrival to lay claim to Rory at Luke and Lorelai's "Alice in Wonderland" themed wedding.  LOL Emily!) The visual of Rory handing Logan back the key in the inn is a near mirror image of Rory handing Logan back the engagement ring in S7. It appears that she rejected him and his "talking" key. So if he “gets” her it will only be because he “captures” her. (Ending “Winter” with Dolly Parton’s “Here You Come Again” was a nice touch.) In the meantime, Rory and Jess finally "see" one another's face.

Then, of course there was the quote from MacBeth  at Logan's approach in Fall.

Unicycle man: By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.

Is Rory doomed to her fate? I started with the Fatalistic approach but once I realized the extent of the "bullshit" in the conversations and the amount of "artifice" in navigating the "rules", I had a hard time taking the premise seriously. I started to suspect the Palladinos may not actually believe in "fated" love stories or "soul mates".  Next.

"Yin" and "Yang" Co-dependence: We never see an independent Rory during AYITL. We never see her furnished Brooklyn apartment. We don't witness her career success (although we know she has had them). We have seen, historically, how Rory has tended to look to those around her for direction: Paris, Emily, Logan, Lane. But most often, Lorelai.  Has Lorelai and Rory's closeness affected their ability to find and keep a "mate"? To "let" others "in"? When Rory first arrives at the house in Winter, Lorelai pulls her daughter into her old bedroom, turns the radio on, and shuts Luke out. Later, during Spring, Rory and Luke re-enact a bizarro universe version of "Kramer vs. Kramer" as neither one wants custody of Lorelai at the food festival since they both need to leave. Does Rory believe she must separate herself from Lorelai for Lorelai's sake? Does she believe that she herself needs someone? Does she believe she must be with Logan because she doesn’t feel up to the challenge of raising a child on her own? (Again, historically, we’ve seen numerous hints that Rory is uncomfortable with pregnancy, babies, and children.)

Although we didn't see it, Rory was capable of leading an independent life. And although the mother-daughter team are still close, they are not as close as they were during the OS. Considering nine years passed and Rory is an adult in AYITL, this is both to be expected and natural. If anything, I think Lorelai's "yang" tendencies and strong opinions influenced Rory's decision-making too much over the years. Stuck in a career that she is ill-suited for, 32-year-old Rory is, on some level, aware of this.  In terms of yin-yang, for many years Lorelai and Rory were out of equilibrium. Rory's AYITL admissions that she didn't want to go to graduate school or grovel for jobs, but she did want to write the book - even though Lorelai didn't want her to - was Rory coming into her own identity. She is not a pushover. Yes, she heeded Lorelai's advice to seek out the SandeeSays interview in Spring but come Summer, she is no longer that person. While she too clamored for the seasonal poem in Winter, come Summer she removes it from the Gazette. Lorelai might have been her yang in the past, but it is no longer a good fit. Also, let's face it, she has a trustfund and likely an inheritence from Richard. She has financial resources. She doesn't need to take a job she doesn't want.  And she did successfully babysit Paris and Doyle's kids. She is capable of keeping a child safe. This too is a red herring. Next.

Metaphysics: You know how there have always been a lot of movie and television show references on "Gilmore Girls"? Did you ever notice how many of them are for films that focus on metaphysics? Body swapping. Time travel. Dual characters. Considering the number of movies made and the limited number of films produced that focus on metaphysics, I started to wonder if the mentions in "Gilmore Girls" skewed too high? After searching the movies titles found
here, Internet Movie Database's list of the top hundred metaphysical movies, I came to the conclusion that the answer was Yes
How about all the actors that play multiple characters? Of course everyone knows the actress who played Sasha, Sherilyn Fenn, also played Anna. The waiter in "Double Date" is Sookie's old friend Joe in "I Solemnly Swear." Liz's friend crazy Carrie is Rory's Stars Hollow English teacher. Stanley the mortuary is Professor Bell. We accept the cross-performances but has anyone ever considered that there might be a reason the Palladinos cast that way?

This hint from Lorelai did inspire my curiosity:

Lorelai: “I once got in trouble for cheating on a metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”

Keeping this in mind, I looked at the dialogue of AYITL and compared phrases, quotes, mentions to the dialogue of the original series, Seasons 1 through 6.  (Thankfully, I have all the dialogue from the OS in an excel spreadsheet thanks to Lauren at the now-defunct Stars Hollow Online webite. Thank you Lauren!)  Following the hints in AYITL, I think I finally figured out what really happened during Rory and Logan's story arc on AYITL and what happens next for Rory and Logan.

But first: Who are Logan and Rory really? See A Year in the Life: The Meaning Behind the Musical

A Year in the Life: The Meaning Behind the Musical
AYITL (and Gilmore Girls) uses a lot of metaphors and symbolism.  So much that some are red herrings. Until the obvious answer hits you, it is very easy to be taken in by "false positives."  See below for just some of the identity messaging that has been incorporated into the story since the beginning. I was doing a rewatch of S5E18 just after someone reminded me that Logan's name meant "hollow." That, and the fact that the meaning of Luke's name comes up in AYITL is what prompted me to do a closer look at this.

Peaks and Valleys

Let's consider peaks and valleys:

Oh, it's okay. It wasn't snow's fault. We had one bad day. Every relationship has its bad days. It doesn't mean you drop and run, you keep going, right? Peaks and valleys keep a relationship fresh.

LORELAI:  Look, life has been pretty good to you so far. It was your turn for a few curveballs. Peaks and valleys, kid. The older you get, the more you have.

Peaks and Valleys, Literal

AYITL:  See? They want us to think about this stuff.

First the peaks...
Origin of the name Lorelei: Derived from Lurlei, the name of the rock "ambush cliff," which is derived from the Middle High German luren (to watch) and lei (a cliff, a rock). The name was altered to Lorelei by Clemens Brentano, a German poet. In Germanic legend, Lorelei was a beautiful siren who sat upon a rock in the Rhine River and lured sailors to shipwreck and death.

val·ley - definition - a low area of land between hills or mountains, typically with a river or stream flowing through it.
synonyms: dale, vale; hollow, basin, gully, gorge, ravine, coulee, trough, canyon, rift; glen;

S5E18:  See? They want us to think about this stuff.

Stars Hollow..?

Rory is often used as the diminutive for the name "Aurora."  Although it may be mislabeled as stars, the aurora borealis is actually formed by collisions between electrically charged particles from the sun that enter the earth's atmosphere.

Origin of the name Logan: Transferred use of the Irish surname which is from the Gaelic lagán (a little hollow), a diminutive form of lag (a hollow): hence, "dweller at a little hollow."

Peaks and Valleys, Yin and Yang

Yin and Yang - This principle is that all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites, for example female-male, dark-light and old-young. The two opposites attract and complement each other and, as their symbol illustrates, each side has at its core an element of the other (represented by the small dots). Neither pole is superior to the other and, as an increase in one brings a corresponding decrease in the other, a correct balance between the two poles must be reached in order to achieve harmony.

Yin is feminine, black, dark, north, water (transformation), passive, moon (weakness and the goddess Changxi), earth, cold, old, even numbers, valleys, poor, soft, and provides spirit to all things. Yin reaches it’s height of influence with the winter solstice. Yin may also be represented by the tiger, the colour orange and a broken line in the trigrams of the I Ching (or Book of Changes).

Yang is masculine, white, light, south, fire (creativity), active, sun (strength and the god Xihe), heaven, warm, young, odd numbers, mountains, rich, hard, and provides form to all things. Yang reaches it’s height of influence with the summer solstice. Yang may also be represented by the dragon, the colour blue and a solid line trigram.

While I do believe yin-yang is at the core of the story, I do not believe it's defined by a co-dependence. These people are making choices.

So who are the yins (valleys) and who are the yangs (mountain peaks)?

Rory and Luke are the yins, while Logan and Lorelai are the yangs. In terms of two parts making up the whole, Rory is, until Luke comes into the picture, yin to Lorelai's yang.  In terms of creativity and "spark", I think Christopher was a yang (and Max might've been one too). As for Logan "being" Christopher, if Logan and Christopher are both yangs that would explain any similarities between the two of them (admittedly I saw many, many more similarities between Logan and Lorelai and have documented them here). The fact that Lorelai and Christopher were so similar would also explain why they found it challenging to maintain a long-term relationship.  I think, what we witnessed in AYITL -for both couples to varying degrees- were the yins increasing their yang-ness - becoming more assertive - while the yangs became more yin-like -yielding.

A Year in the Life: Who the F*ck Are These People?

Next: Let's look more closely at the character dynamics of our yangs and yins.

Lorelai, like Logan, has it in her to be obnoxious.  She can be controlling. She can steamroll over people to get her way. She acts out when jealous. Remember her beating up on the luggage Anna gave Luke before his bus trip with April? The execution was different, but the impulse likely originated from a similar place as Logan's "So what do you write?" line of questioning to Jess. Even when they act out of good intentions, their interference can aggravate the yin in their lives. This is because they act based on their own strongly-held opinions. The best examples are from S5E10. Luke was angry with Lorelai for buying his father's boat for him after he told her he didn't want it, while Rory was similiarly infuriated when Logan stages the lovestruck scene during her lecture (a lecture on metaphysics I might add!) to give the visiting Chilton student a view into college life. Demonstrating how her brain works similarly to Logan's, Lorelai made a similar suggestion at FND:

LORELAI: Yes, I know, but it wouldn't hurt to maybe throw a little something fun in. I'm not talking a kegger, but just walk her by the crazy drama students yelling "Give me a location," or something like that.

While viewers enjoy Lorelai's strength and moxie, many of those same viewers regard Logan as a jerk.  HAHAHAHAHA!  I think the take-away is that Logan is who Lorelai would've been had she not left her parents "world." Lorelai tended to revert to that behavior when back in that "world." Two examples include messing with the employee timecards in the supermarket (while on the date with Jason- S4E9) and messing with the seating arrangements for the Gilmores' vow renewal (S5E13). Engaging in pranks mindless to the potential impact the actions could have on others is pretty on par with Logan (and the other members of the Life and Death Brigade) game of swapping out trinkets from wealthy people's homes.

As for Luke and Rory, we see their similarities repeatedly in AYITL. They each gripe and complain but then rise to the occasion in spite of their often negative attitudes. For Luke, he fixes the floaty hut. For Rory, she takes on the Stars Hollow Gazette. Too passive for his own good, we see Luke "waste a poor widow's time" as he goes out to look at diner locations -including the teacup shaped one next to the prison- with Emily. Too passive for her own good, we see Rory "waste" CEO SandeeSays time by interviewing for a job she has no interest in.

Examples of how the yins show love for their yangs? Ah, therein lies the rub. See below (S5E5) for yin Rory and yang Lorelai debating whether or not Richard asking if Emily brought her car in to be serviced demonstrated affection for his estranged wife. Note that they do not share the same opinion. 

In S5E11, even though Luke may not understand Lorelai's fascination with snow he knows her well enough to know that its important that her relationship with snow be reconciled. So he builds her an ice rink and brings her ice skates. 

In AYITL, we see the pragmatic side of Luke focus on fixing things around the house to demonstrate his love for Lorelai. Sadly, Lorelai perceives it a different way.

Lorelai: Yeah, everything's fine. I annoy him and he builds cabinets. Or that's what I think. He says we need the storage.
For Logan and Rory we have to go back to S6E22. For Logan's last night before leaving for London, Rory arranges a surprise party for him. But she lies to Lorelai about it, instead describing a much different plan.

RORY: I made reservations at this crappy Italian restaurant with Chianti bottles hanging from the ceiling, and the husband and wife that own the place wind up screaming at each other after 8:00, we love it.

It's apparent by the tone in her voice as she describes the imagined evening to Lorelai that the date at the crappy Italian restaurant is what Rory would've preferred but she made making Logan happy the priority and, like Luke, she knows how to put her yang's preferences ahead of her own. 

Next: Let's talk about the musical.

Once I understood what was going on, I found the musical hilarious. TBH, I found it funny after the initial WTF?! died down.

"Can't a man enjoy a glass of whisky?" "A man can. But there's no man in this room." "You were always a sly cat, Felix." "I'm not the man you think I am." "But you are..."

Who drinks whisky during AYITL? Who drinks scotch? Who drinks bourbon? (Scotch is whiskey made in Scotland, while bourbon is whiskey made in the U.S.). Who is Felix to Lorelai's "Oscar"? In the OS it was Rory; now it's Luke. Logan is Lorelai, Rory is Luke. Who's up on the stage? Does it matter? Lorelai, meanwhile, is watching, her expression clearly saying "What the fuck?"  HAHAHAHAHAH! What the fuck, indeed! Does the female character going from man to man throughout the decades only to keep coming back to fight with the same one strike a chord? My guess is the proletariat couple are Luke and Lorelai, while the bourgeoisie version are Rory and Logan. We saw Rory and Logan walk -obliviously - through a protest on the Yale campus back in S5E19. Other hints from the musical?

  • junk mail - we've seen Lorelai and Rory discuss junk mail in the OS

  • terrorism -

  • spam -

  • tiny airplane seats - Rory and Lorelai's Winter conversation

  • really small print - the fine print on Logan's family crest

  • new weird viruses - Paul brought Lorelai the virus protection software

  • tank tops - Lorelai and Rory at the pool

  • anything by Jeff Koons - Jeff Koons' Lobster refers to Rory's Conde Nast meeting, while his pool floats recall the pool scenes.

  • man-buns - Luke has a "no man-buns" sign at the diner

  • occupy radicals - Logan and Rory blowing past the protest (see photo below from S5E19).

  • wine prices - Logan's joke about the wine

  • Putin - a commenter suggested looking at "Vladimir" rather than Putin. One of the characters in "Waiting for Godot" is named Vladimir with a nickname of Didi. Didi contemplates the circular nature of his experiences and considers suicide put perpetually postpones it.

  • basketball - Lorelai jokes to Luke about using a tall surrogate to start a basketball team

There could be other connections as well. As for Lorelai and Logan being similar and Rory and Luke being similar, I think we were given a hint a while back (S6E9) that we might want to take a closer look at character speech patterns.

RORY: You know, you can use language-analysis software to ID an author by comparing his writing style to known writing samples.

Fiddler on the Roof: I've lately started to toy with the idea that Rory's romances were patterned after "Fiddler on the Roof" -which, of course, is mentioned on the show a LOT. Her first love was books. Then came the childhood friend Dean (Chosen over the wealthy butcher - lol - Tristan). Then she fell for the intellectual (Jess). Finally came the one with a different "religion" who moves her far from home (Logan and money).  Since the original story intent was that Rory and Logan marry young, there might also have been a reference to the parents' marriage - Tevye and Goldie who wed through an arranged marriage at a young age but ultimately find that they love one another.  That's my take-away from the wiki description at least. If I can force myself to watch a musical, I'll see if makes more sense or less upon viewing. 

The Firelight Festival: The True Meaning of "A Year in the Life" Cliffhanger Ending
December 21, 2017:

Have you ever had an "Ah-ha!" moment when you wonder how something so obvious could've eluded you for so long? That's how I feel about this.  Thanks to Anto for the timely refresher on the meaning of Logan's name.  She reminded me of the word derivation just in time for it to sink in during a rewatch of Season 5's Live and Let Diorama

The given name Logan is derived from the Scottish surname Logan, which is in turn derived from a place name. The likely origin of this surname is a place located near Auchinleck, in Ayrshire. The place name is derived from the Scottish Gaelic lagan, which is a diminutive of lag, which in turn means "
hollow". See here.

While Rory's given name is "Lorelai", Rory is actually commonly a diminutive for the name Aurora. As in Aurora Borealis, which, of course, are the northern lights. Aren't those

See? They want us to think about this stuff. From S3E21: Here Comes the Son.

From S1E20:
Star Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers:

MISS PATTY: This, boys and girls, is the story of true love. A beautiful girl from one county; a handsome boy from another. They meet and they fall in love. Separated by distance and by parents who did not approve of the union, the young couple dreamed of a day that they could be together. They wrote each other beautiful letters. Letters of longing and passion. Letters full of promises and plans for the future. Soon the separation proved too much for either one of them to bear. So, one night, cold and black with no light to guide them, they both snuck out of their homes and ran away as fast as they could. It was so dark out that they were both soon lost and it seemed as if they would never find each other. Finally, the girl dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her lovely face. 'Oh, my love. Where are you? How will I find you?' Suddenly, a band of stars appeared in the sky. These stars shone so brightly they lit up the entire countryside. The girl jumped to her feet and followed the path of the stars until finally she found herself standing right where the town gazebo is today. And there waiting for her was her one true love, who had also been led here by the blanket of friendly stars. [Camera stops on Miss Patty's dance studio, where she is telling the story to a group of children.] And that, my friends, is the story of how Stars Hollow came to be, and why we celebrate that fateful night every year at about this time. Now, we still have a little time left in our story hour. Who wants to hear about the time I danced in a cage for Tito Puente?

Check out the photos below. The top two are from GG Firelight Festivals, Season 1 and Season 4. The last one is Lorelai's wedding. The gazebo is often (usually?) adorned in lights. The gazebo is similarly decorated for the Connecticut bike marathon in "The New and Improved Lorelai" (S6 Ep1) which is when Lorelai and Luke become engaged. It is also decorated similiarly during "I Get a Sidekick out of You" for Lane and Zach's wedding." However, there is something distinctively different about how it is decorated for Lorelai's wedding.

It always seemed odd to me that Rory broke the news of her pregnancy to Lorelai when she did - right before Lorelai's wedding. My thought was "Why couldn't she wait a few hours? So Lorelai could focus on her wedding." I thought it was selfish and unfair of Rory to drop the bombshell on her mother like that.  But then I realized this:
Rory didn't have a choice. She was running out of time because she knew there was going to be a wedding crasher.  Logan was coming.

This is, of course, consistent with the dialogue of Rory and Logan's farewell in S6E22: Partings:

RORY: Yes. You are leaving for London. Who knows when we'll see each other again?
LOGAN: I thought that was all set.
RORY: What was all set?
LOGAN: Christmas, thanksgiving, Guy Fawkes day.
RORY: That's so far away. I…

Lorelai and Luke's 2016 wedding day was scheduled for November 5, also known as Guy Fawkes Day.

S1E20: Star Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers: Firelight Festival Season 1

S4E13: Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels, Firelight Festival Season 4

Lorelai's Wedding, AYITL Fall - Looks a lot like the "path" or "band" or "blanket" of lights described in S1E20:
Suddenly, a band of stars appeared in the sky. These stars shone so brightly they lit up the entire countryside. The girl jumped to her feet and followed the path of the stars until finally she found herself standing right where the town gazebo is today. And there waiting for her was her one true love, who had also been led here by the blanket of friendly stars.

REMINDER: Season 7 has nothing to do with anything.  It's static, noise, nothing more.
DISCLAIMER: Transcripts are from crazy-internet-people.com

Jess and Logan: Comparison of How they Did as Boyfriends, Part 3
This is the final part of my three-part post comparing Jess and Logan as boyfriends. It has been a very interesting exercise. I did my best to play it as neutral as I could.  I cannot help but have opinions on some of these scenarios (Jess was mostly awful. His treatment of Rory often bordered on psychological abuse and the incident at Kyle's house was frightening. In the meantime, Logan underperformed in a few areas but was usually solid). That is why I relied on dialogue and photographs.

Disclaimer: Season 7 does not count. 

7) You want to have sex with a girl for the first time. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you push yourself on her in a bedroom of an acquaintance during a keg party. Though it's obvious by her reaction - saying, "Jess, wait," she is not interested in having sex in a stranger's home during a house party, you do not back off, prompting her to say "Jess, wait" a second time, and then finally "Jess" a third time and jump off the bed to get away from you. When she asks you if you really expected her to have sex with you for the first time in a stranger's home, where anyone could walk in, you yell at her, "I did not invite you up here, you came up here on your own!" as though her walking through the bedroom door equated a consent to having sex.

S3, EP 19: KEG! MAX!
RORY: There you are.
JESS: Hey.
RORY: I've been looking all over for you.
JESS: Just got tired of everything down there.
RORY: Are we allowed to be up here? I mean, Kyle was kind of discouraging it.
JESS: When you have a party, you get what you get.
RORY: Yeah, I guess. Sad boy, what's wrong? You were looking forward to this party, what happened?
JESS: Nothing.
RORY: Something did. Come on, tell me. [they kiss] You're not tired of me, are you? [they kiss again] That's a pretty good answer.
[They kiss again, then start making out on the bed]
RORY: Jess, wait. . . Jess, wait. . . Jess. [jumps up off the bed]
JESS: Jeez.
RORY: Not here, not now.
JESS: Fine.
RORY: What's wrong with you?
JESS: Nothing's wrong with me.
RORY: Someone could've walked in that door.
JESS: And Santa Claus could come down the chimney, whatever.
RORY: You did not think that it was going to happen like this, did you?
JESS: I don't know what I think anymore.
RORY: Jess.
JESS: Rory, stop, just stop! I did not invite you up here, you came up here on your own!
RORY: [starts to cry] I don't know what I did. [leaves room]


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you knock on her dorm window and ask if you can come in. Once she agrees, you climb inside. You flirt and kiss. She removes your jacket. You joke about changing into something more comfortable - like feetsie pajamas. Before things go too far, you ask her if she wants you leave. When she doesn't respond with anything other than a kiss, you ask again. This time she says, "no." Now that you have her answer, you know you're staying a while. 

RORY: Hey.
[He gestures inside.]
RORY: Yeah, sure. [Logan climbs in the window and closes it.]
LOGAN: Huh. That move always seems cooler in the movies.
RORY: No, I think you maneuver your way through a window quite gracefully.
LOGAN: Thank you.
RORY: I assume you’ve had practice.
LOGAN: No, first time.
RORY: I’m sure.
[He strokes her arm.] So, how was the Zydeco music?
LOGAN: Ah, I left when Finn jumped in on vocals.
RORY: Excellent self-preservational instinct.
LOGAN: I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.
RORY: Oh, yeah, I got home okay.
LOGAN: So I see.
RORY: Thanks for the concern, I appreciate it.
LOGAN: It wasn’t all concern.
RORY: Oh, really?
LOGAN: No. I don’t believe I said a proper goodnight to you this evening.
RORY: No, you didn’t.
LOGAN: Good night, Ace.
[They kiss.]
RORY: I thought you said a proper goodnight. [She takes off his jacket as they kiss again.]
LOGAN: You want to get changed into something more comfortable?
RORY: More comfortable than this?
LOGAN: I actually was hoping for some feetsie pajamas.
RORY: Oh, now you know I’m not that kind of girl.
[They kiss again, more passionately.]
LOGAN: Do you want me to go? [She kisses him.]
LOGAN: Rory, do you want me to go?
LOGAN: Okay, ‘cause if you think climbing in that window was hard –
RORY: Shh.
[She pulls him down onto the bed.]

8) You find out after-the-fact that your girlfriend spent time with her ex. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you are jealous.  It is not only that she spent time with him without telling you - you found out via a flyer posted in your town- but it's also apparent to you that, while she trusts her ex, she does not trust you. Though you refuse to tell her how you got a black eye, you resent the fact that she assumes you faught with her trusted ex. You wind up in a heated argument at her grandmother's house.  It is so heated, you leave before dinner and you leave your jacket there. Although she calls you repeatedly after that, you ignore her calls. You instruct your uncle to lie to her by telling her you're "out." Thankfully - for you - you have an uncle who cares about your happiness enough to go "Dr. Phil" on you and lecture you that you need to talk to her.  Seeing her pass outside the place where you work, you take the opportunity to go out to talk to her. (You proceed to lie to her, but that's another story. See #3.)

LUKE: Jess, being jealous of Dean
JESS: I am not jealous of Dean.
LUKE: Being jealous of Dean is pointless. You’re just gonna drive Rory away. You wanna have a relationship with someone, you’re gonna have to learn to open up your mouth and say something.
JESS: Give it a rest, Dr. Phil.
LUKE: You can’t shut down, you can’t avoid her calls.
JESS: I didn’t wanna talk.
LUKE: Well, when are you gonna wanna talk?
JESS: I don’t know.
LUKE: So, what are you gonna do, just keep avoiding her and never take her calls again?
JESS: She’ll find me eventually.
LUKE: If she keeps looking for you.
JESS: Hey, I’m not gonna be a wuss like Dean.
LUKE: Dean had that girl for two years. You have a little fight after two months, you walk out, and it’s over?
JESS: I don’t care.
LUKE: Okay, fine, you don’t care, that’s obvious.

JESS: So, sorry I missed your calls.
RORY: You were always out.
JESS: Yeah. I was getting ready to call you just now, but you would’ve been out.
RORY: Ironic.
JESS: Yeah.
RORY: So, I know there was no fight with Dean.
JESS: Really? How? You asked Dean.
RORY: It was the only thing I could think to do.
JESS: To go to the source.
RORY: Yup. I’m sorry I doubted you.
JESS: It’s okay. I would’ve doubted me, too.
RORY: I need to trust you as much as I trusted –
JESS: Him.
RORY: Yeah.
JESS: This black eye screwed everything up.
RORY: Yeah.
JESS: Next time I go to your grandmother’s, I’ll try not to have one.
RORY: Next time?
JESS: Next time.


You find your girlfriend going out to dinner with her ex. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you are jealous. Surprising your girlfriend by coming home early, you in turn are surprised to find her going out with another man, a man you confirm was once her boyfriend. You accompany them to dinner, where you act like a jerk. Your antenna is already up when your girlfriend's "friend" admits he's "not hungry."  Hackles raised, you ramp up your condescending jerk act. You and your girlfriend fight in public, even though you hate such exhibitions. Rory, likely taking a lesson from her past effort to get Jess to talk to her after their blow-out about Dean, does not make the same mistake twice; she does not try to call Logan after their fight. As weeks stretch into a month and a holiday passes without a word between the two of you, you accept things are over between you two. (This is a bad call that will come back to haunt you. See #3.) 

LOGAN: I live pretty close. I'd have had you over to check it out, but it's a bit of a mess.
RORY: And you don't serve food, so we would have been starving at your place.
LOGAN: I've got appetizers, half-full bag of chips. Just check the expiration date before you dive in.
JESS: I'm good with this place.
LOGAN: Little pointer. Don't come on folk night.
JESS: Yeah, I'm not a big fan of folk music.
LOGAN: Something we have in common.
JESS: Great. (looks at Rory who looks back at him a bit uncomfortable)
LOGAN: Where's a waitress? Yo, yo. Right here. Uh, another Macallen neat, and, Jess, another brew?
JESS: I'm still working on this one.
LOGAN: Another one, just in case.
RORY: Well, we should probably order. It's a big menu, so if you need guidance...
JESS: I'm not hungry.
LOGAN: You're not hungry?
JESS: Nope.
LOGAN: I thought the whole point was you two were going to get something to eat?
RORY: And talk.
LOGAN: Well, yes, it's a given that you're gonna talk while you eat. You know, chef de cuisine will gladly make anything you want if nothing there appeals.
RORY: The burgers are good here.
JESS: Maybe a burger.
LOGAN: Get one of those fancy ones, too, and it's on me, so don't let the price stop you.
JESS: I'll pay for my own.
LOGAN: Good man. So, how long have you two known each other?
JESS: A while.
LOGAN: You date?
RORY: Yes. We used to date.
LOGAN: Ah! No hemming. No hawing. Good course of action. So, were you two high school sweethearts? Rock around the clock, two straws in the milkshake?
RORY: Logan.
LOGAN: Hey, did we cheers? I don't think we cheered. That's bad luck. Let's cheers.
JESS: I think we did already, twice.
LOGAN: Well, let's do it again. Cheers.
RORY and JESS: Cheers.
LOGAN: So...what do you do, Jess?
JESS: Oh, this and that.
LOGAN: Describe the "this". Describe the "that".
RORY: He writes.
LOGAN: You write? Impressive. What do you write?
JESS: Nothing important.
RORY: He wrote a book.
LOGAN: Oh, you penned the great American novel, Jess?
JESS: Wasn't quite that ambitious.
LOGAN: So, what are we talking here? Short novel? Kafka length or longer? Dos Passos, Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?
JESS: You seem very obsessed with length.
LOGAN: I'm just trying to get a picture in my head, that's all.
RORY: It's a short novel.
LOGAN: (at Rory) Any good?
RORY: I haven't read it yet.
LOGAN: Yet? Well, at least you'll have one reader. That's something.
JESS: Yeah.
LOGAN: You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of "he said, she said"-'s, and get it published. You got a copy on you?
LOGAN: You should send me a copy.
JESS: Sure. And where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?
RORY: Jess. (Jess picks up his coat and get up)
LOGAN: Whoa, whoa. We're just trying to keep it friendly here, buddy. (Logan gets up and blocks his way)
JESS: Get out of my way.
LOGAN: Forget him, Rory.
RORY: Don't follow me.

LOGAN: You're not gonna believe this. Over the music, the crowd, I hear one girl's voice cutting through it all, the folk singer. She's in the corner with her boyfriend. I sent them over a round of drinks. What the hell? He gone?
RORY: Yes, he's gone.
LOGAN: Writers are so sensitive.
RORY: You were a jerk, Logan.
LOGAN: I was just challenging him. Jeez. Hey, if Hemingway can take it, so can he. Hey, if he wanted to, he could have taken a pop at me. Pugnacity! It's a vital component of literary life. Again, consult your Hemingway. Come on. Do not let this guy get to you.
RORY: You're getting to me.
RORY: Yes. You were an ass.
LOGAN: Look, I'm sorry I came back early. I really messed things up here.
RORY: Jess wrote a book. He wrote a book, and you mocked him.
LOGAN: I did not mock him.
RORY: He's doing something.
LOGAN: Good. Fine. He's doing something. Everybody in the world's doing something. More power to him.

9) You are going through a difficult time. Your girlfriend asks you to call her. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you say you'll call her but don't. Then when you do call her, you hang-up without saying anything. Many times. You let her go, but your continued frequent calls -she knows it's you - keep a psychological hold on her. A year later you see her again and she has an opportunity to express to you how she felt about you not calling. How do you respond? You sink your manipulative psychological hooks right back into her by telling her you love her and then turning around and walking away. See #10


RORY: You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go.
JESS: Could we sit down?
RORY: No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me? [Jess pauses a second.]
JESS: I love you. [Rory stares after him as Jess walks away, gets into his car and drives away.]


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you tell her you need time and that you'll call her tomorrow.  Instead of waiting until the next day to call, you walk around, realize you over-reacted and return to her. You apologize for bailing, acknowledging it was "stupid". Then you take her out to get something to eat.

LOGAN: So. Okay if I just drop you here?
RORY: Drop me here?
LOGAN: Yeah, lights are on. Paris is home. I’ve had about all the crazy I can for one evening.
RORY: Okay. Sure. You know we don’t have to go in, we can go get something to eat.
LOGAN: I’m not hungry.
RORY: Okay.
LOGAN: I just want to walk a little, clear my head.
RORY: Okay.
[They kiss.]
LOGAN: I’ll call you later.
RORY: Tomorrow?
[walking away]: Uh, yeah. Tomorrow. [Rory goes inside.]

[Rory goes to answer the door, still holding the phone. Logan is standing in the door.]
RORY: Hey. Everything okay?
LOGAN: I’m sorry.
RORY: For what?
LOGAN: For just taking off like that. I just, this was a very intense evening for me.
RORY: I’m sure.
LOGAN: But taking off like that, I was overreacting, that’s just stupid. So, forgive me?
RORY: There’s nothing to forgive.

LOGAN: Come on, grab your coat. I’ll take you to get something to eat.
RORY: Okay. I’ll be right back.

10) How do you tell a girl you love her for the first time?

IF YOU ARE JESS, after not seeing her for a year, you visit the town where she lives and tell her you love her right before getting into your car and leaving her again. A few months later you drop in on her at her dorm and ask her to leave college and come away to another city to live with you.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN, you break up with her only to realize after the fact that you love her.  You wait until she's re-enrolled in college before you approach her and tell her you love her.  Then you do everything you can think of to make her reconsider giving you a second chance. You send her flowers, candy, fruit, coffee, books, candels. Finally you humble yourself before her mom asking her intervene on your behalf.

11) Your girlfriend is arranging a special birthday for her mother; how do you help? Your girlfriend is arranging a fundraiser; how do you help? Your girlfriend is putting out an issue of the school newspaper; how do you help?

IF YOU ARE JESS, you do not help.  Even though you have a license to drive a forklift and a forklift is needed to move the "largest pizza in the tri-county area" you do not help at all. You leave your girlfriend to arrange everything, including pushing large dolleys with drinks.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN, you help where you can on her fundraiser. You arrange for a donated audio system. For the newspaper, you step in and do what you can to ensure the issue gets published.

DISCLAIMER: Transcripts are from crazy-internet-people.com.

See also Part 1 and Part 2 of this Logan and Jess play-by-play comparison. 

Jess and Logan: Comparison of How they Did as Boyfriends, Part 2
This is the second part of my three-part post comparing Jess and Logan as boyfriends. As I mentioned in Part 1, during my most recent rewatch of the original series, I noted a number of scenes that seemed too similar to be coincidental. I believe the scenes were written so that Rory would find herself in situations with Logan that would call to mind similar situations with Jess. I know fans theorize and make excuses for character behaviors with the refrain "but they were younger" but Rory isn't going to whitewash her experiences with an excuse of immaturity. She's going to compare and contrast her experiences.

Disclaimer: Season 7 does not count.

(4) Your girlfriend wants more than anything to [attend the prom]. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you make her work for it. Make her twist your arm to get you to agree to attend. You'll go because you're a "man of your word"; not because you want to spend time with her or think you could have fun. Your girlfriend even calls you out for trying to "forget about the prom." Unfortunately, the fact that you're flunking out of school makes you ineligible to buy prom tickets. You ignored "nine warning slips" and the principal's repeated attempts to set up meetings because you believed you "could catch up" since you're "smarter than anyone". Despite knowing how much your girlfriend wanted to go to the prom, you never consider how your actions might jeopardize her happiness.

S3, EP 20: KEG! MAX!
RORY: I like that you're getting to know Dave a little.
JESS: Yeah, he's a cool guy.
RORY: Good. It's going to make the four of us going to prom together even more fun.
JESS: Ah, yes, I almost forgot about the prom.
RORY: No, you were trying to forget about the prom.
JESS: I agreed to go and I am a man of my word.
RORY: How's that arm I twisted?
JESS: I got the feeling back in it.
RORY: It's just if there was one more dance I wanna go to in my whole life, it'd be the Stars Hollow High prom, with Lane. That's a big part of it.
JESS: I'm getting the tickets this week.
RORY: And I'll pay, okay?
JESS: Not a chance.
RORY: It means a tux, you know. I know it's geeky.
JESS: Tuxes are also James Bond. That's not geeky.
RORY: You're kind.
JESS: And going to stash a change of clothes in the limo.

PRINCIPAL: Well, well. Jess Mariano. What a pleasure. Sit down.
JESS: I was just trying to buy prom tickets and they told me to go see you.
PRINCIPAL: Sit down. So, the prom, huh? I wouldn't have taken you for someone who'd wanna go to the prom.
JESS: My girlfriend wants to.
PRINCIPAL: Oh, that's too bad.
JESS: What, why?
PRINCIPAL: Because you flunked out.
JESS: I what?
PRINCIPAL: You're not graduating, Jess. Prom tickets are for graduating seniors only. Guess your girlfriend's outta luck.
JESS: Now wait a minute. I'm just a little behind. I can catch up, no sweat.
PRINCIPAL: You can't, you missed too much.
JESS: It hasn't been that much.
PRINCIPAL: Thirty-one days you've been out. Cutoff's twenty.
JESS: So that's it, just like that?
PRINCIPAL: That's it.
JESS: Thanks for the warning.
PRINCIPAL: You mean the nine warning slips we gave you weren't enough? All the meetings that I tried to set up between you and your guidance counselor, between you and me that you blew off, that wasn't warning enough?
JESS: I can catch up, I'm smarter than anyone here.
PRINCIPAL: And humble, too.
JESS: I can catch up, you'll see.
PRINCIPAL: There's nothing to see, you're out.
JESS: Fine, I'll take summer school if that's what you want.
PRINCIPAL: Good, but it's not enough. You have to take the whole year over.
JESS: The whole year? No way.
PRINCIPAL: Then no diploma.
JESS: At least let me go to the prom, what's the big deal?
PRINCIPAL: We're done here.
JESS: Come on.
PRINCIPAL: You wanna talk about coming back next year, my door's open.
JESS: I'm not gonna miss this place.
PRINCIPAL: Vice versa.


Your [not yet girl] friend wants more than anything to [write an article on the secret club you belong to]. What do you do?

IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you make her work for it. Sort of. She asks for your help. Initially you say 'no' and you tease her a bit and use the opportunity to flirt with her.  But then you change your mind and provide her with everything she needs to write her article. Instead of forcing her to twist your arm to help, you twist others' arms on her behalf to get them to agree to letting her write her article. While Logan identifies conditions she must comply with in order for her to participate in the event, the conditions extract nothing personal from her. He did not warn her it was overnight so she did not pack extra clothes. But he did provide her with a washbowl, a towel, a toothbrush, and a blue ballgown. They may not dance but they look like they're dressed up for a prom. And they are in the woods - crazy and happy - just like Lorelai wanted. 

RORY: Hey, Huntzberger!
LOGAN: Hey! You waiting on me?
RORY: Could be.
LOGAN: Wow, I’m flattered.
RORY: Your prerogative.
LOGAN: You here on business or pleasure?
RORY: I just thought maybe I’d give you a chance to respond to my article?
LOGAN: What article?
RORY: The article I’m doing on the Life and Death Brigade.
LOGAN: Don’t really know what you’re talking about.
RORY: You don’t? Huh. I thought you would. It’s a club. One of these super secret, super exclusive clubs here at Yale, membership spans a thousand centuries, secret handshakes and secret sayings, and a lot of running around in circles in your underwear, that kind of thing.
LOGAN: Sounds pretty secret.
RORY: Yeah. Anyhow, I’m doing sort of an expose on this one particular club and I figured, since you’re in it, maybe you’d like to have your point of view included.
LOGAN: I’m in it?
RORY: Well aren’t you?
LOGAN: I’ve yet to run around in a circle in my underwear.
RORY: Well. Okay. I mean, I have proof that your grandfather was in it, which means that your father was in it. Which should mean that you’re in it. But maybe not. Okay.
LOGAN: Sorry to let you down.
RORY: No let down. It would have been nice, but I have plenty of stuff without you, and I’m sorry to have bothered you.
LOGAN: You have plenty without me, huh?
RORY: Oh yeah! I have the ball gowns, the girl in the gorilla mask, In Omnia Paratus – very fancy catch phrase, by the way – the license plate on the black SUV, and about a dozen other little things. I mean, getting an interview with an actual member would have been great. But I’m okay without it.
LOGAN: Well, great.
RORY: Yep. Plus I’m completely onto your routine now.
RORY: Yeah. So I figure I’ll just track you, and you’ll eventually lead me there anyway. So, hey. I mean it would have been easier if you just would have talked to me now, but I can do it the other way if you want.
LOGAN: The other way.
RORY: Yes.
LOGAN: You tracking me.
RORY: Yes.
LOGAN: Following my every move?
RORY: Yeah.
LOGAN: I pick that way.
RORY: Okay, but –
LOGAN: We can start right now, if you want. I’m heading back to my room, I can keep the window open in case you feel the need to sneak in, and track me from the inside.
RORY: Thanks for the info.
LOGAN: Absolutely.
(Turns to leave.) And hey, good luck with that article. Sounds like a hell of a scoop. (Walks away.)

L > Hey Ace. I’ve got a proposition for you.
R > Shoot.
L > I’ll help you with your article. Get you the inside scoop. You just have to agree to a few conditions.
R > What conditions?
L > The first condition is you have to agree before you know the conditions. What do you say, Ace? You in or out?
R > I’m in.

LOGAN: Good. This is for me. Sorry you’re not getting much from the group. Took a little arm-twisting to get them to agree to let you come in the first place.
RORY: I don’t need their cooperation. I’ve already filled two notebooks without their cooperation. Half of one without using the letter ‘e’, but I could use yours.
LOGAN: Way too much salt on this.
RORY: I mean, this is pretty incredible, but it’s just a preamble to the big stunt tomorrow, right?
LOGAN: It’s Finn, he’s Australian. They like salt.
RORY: How do you pay for this? Are there dues, or do you chip in, is there alumni sponsoring it? How is it organized? And what is happening tomorrow? Is it just as big, or bigger? And do people know that you’re here? Park Rangers, or the landowner? Where are we? Are we still in Connecticut? And your answer cannot include the word salt.
LOGAN: Okay. I think it’s time to fill you in on the conditions of you being here.
RORY: Okay.
LOGAN: First, no pictures. (Holds up her camera.)
RORY: Hey!
LOGAN: Aw, you’ll get it back at the end of the trip. Second, no names.
RORY: I’m not exactly being introduced to anyone as it is.
LOGAN: Third, no physical descriptions of any of us. There are authority figures up and down Connecticut trying to nab us for things we may have done in the past. Naughty things.
RORY: Keep you anonymous.
LOGAN: What number am I on?
RORY: Just did third.
LOGAN: Fourth, no identification of our location.
RORY: I don’t know where we are.
LOGAN: Fifth.
RORY: You’re going to run out of -ifths.
LOGAN: Most important condition of all. You must agree not to interfere with the integrity of the event.
RORY: What is the event, and how could I interfere?
LOGAN: So you agree?
RORY: Yes, I agree.

5) Something didn't exactly turn out how you wanted it to. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you wallow. You mope. You angst. If you're not happy, nobody's happy. Your girlfriend tries to make you happy. She kisses you, hoping it'll make you feel better but that doesn't turn out very well for her (See #7). In "Swan Song," Jess makes it clear to Rory when he arrives at Emily's he was not in the mood for it: "Look, Rory, I’m already in a crappy mood. Traffic sucked. Traffic I hit going to a function I didn’t particularly wanna go to. And I’m thirsty. And I’m hungry. So let’s eat. So do we eat standing up?"

S3, EP 19: KEG! MAX!
RORY: They're getting ready to go on. They're all hyperventilating to the same rhythm, so that's a positive sign. What are you looking at?
JESS: The happy family. Kinda depressing if you ask me.
RORY: Oh, Mr. Sunshine. You're spreading so much joy around, you're embarrassing yourself. You've got to get a little more moody.
JESS: I'll try.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you force yourself to be minimally polite.  Though uncharacteristically taciturn, you refrain from saying anything rude. The one time Logan is not up to his usual vivacious self - at the DAR event Rory is hostessing at the Gilmores house - he apologizes to Rory and excuses himself to the poolhouse where he invites his friends to come over to cheer him up.  To her credit, Rory seems to have learned a lesson from dealing with Jess and pivots Logan away from the DAR ladies once she realizes his mood.

RORY:  Um, excuse me for a minute. (Walks towards Logan, who doesn't seem to be in a good mood) Hey, I didn't know you were coming. (they share an awkward hug)
LOGAN: Yeah. I forgot you had a thing today.
RORY: Oh, it's okay, 'cause now I get to show you off. (drags him over to the ladies she was talking to) Nancy, Lucy, I'd like to introduce Logan Huntzberger. Logan, this is Nancy Osgood and Lucy Faxton-Field.
LUCY: How do you do, Logan? It's such a pleasure to meet the young Huntzberger.
RORY: (surprised by his behaviour, tries conversationally) Uh, Logan, I think I've told you about Nancy. She's the one who insists I look like Clara Barton, which I'm still not sure is a compliment.
NANCY: Oh, it's a compliment, of the highest order. (the ladies chuckle while Logan is still unmoved)
RORY: Um, well, if you'll excuse us, I think I promised Logan one of the coveted salmon puffs.
LUCY: So nice to meet you, Logan. (Logan nods and then he and Rory walk away)

RORY: Want some coffee? (sees Logan pouring scotch) With your scotch?
LOGAN: Sorry. I'm just not in the mood to deal with this type of thing right now, these type of people.
RORY: Why? Did something happen?
LOGAN: So how long do you think this thing's gonna last?
RORY: Um....an hour, hour and a half tops. And then 15 minutes for me to pay the caterers, and make sure the cleaning staff knows what to do. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you go hang out in the pool house, and then I'll come out as soon as I finish up here? We could talk.
LOGAN: Yeah, okay. (kisses her cheek)

We hear music and noises. Rory looks through the glass door and is a bit surprised. Rory enters the pool house holding a napkin and sees that apparently Finn and Colin have now joined Logan, who's sitting on the couch. Finn is talking on the phone and walking around, while Colin pours himself a drink. There is also a girl there. Colin's milkmaid Rory learns.
RORY: So, this is a surprise. The guys being here and everything.
LOGAN: Well, Colin just got back. I hadn't seen him. Is that okay?
RORY: Oh! Yeah, it's fine. I just....well you seemed like you were kind off in a bad mood earlier.
LOGAN: Well, this is how you get out of a bad mood, Ace.

6) Sometimes your girlfriend's needs are different from yours. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you are impatient. You repeatedly tell her you want to leave, you're bored, you don't want to be there, you make it obvious to others -such as Lindsey and Dean at the keg party and Emily at the dinner - that you don't want to be there by being rude to them, etc. You place your girlfriend in the uncomfortable position of having to make excuses for you. When Rory asks Jess about his black eye during "Swan Song," he deflects answering by reminding her how much he "didn't wanna go to" the dinner at her grandmother's. To her response, "no one made you," Jess replies "you made me."

S3, EP 19: KEG! MAX!
JESS: We're here a little early, don't you think?
RORY: No, we're with the band. We're the roadies and the sound crew and I'm advising on makeup for Lane and I'm the keeper of Brian's sandwich and thermos. So we're busy backstage-type people.
JESS: We're dork early.
RORY: Come on, get into the spirit of things. Hello Cleveland!
JESS: Guess I'll wander around a little.

JESS: So, what now?
RORY: What do you mean, what now?
JESS: Let's go, let's get out of here.
RORY: Go where?
JESS: Anywhere.
RORY: It's early.
JESS: It's boring.
RORY: Jess, we can't just go.
JESS: Yes, we can.
RORY: The band's playing a whole other set.
JESS: They can do it without us.
RORY: I don't wanna leave. Now, come on, try to have fun. Talk, mingle.
JESS: I don't wanna talk to anybody else. I don't like anybody else.
RORY: I don't wanna leave. I need to stay here for Lane, come on. Gloomy.
JESS: We'll go right when they get done playing, okay?
RORY: Sure, Grandpa.
JESS: Rory.
RORY: We'll go then, I promise.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you are patient.  You are so patient there is an entire blog post dedicated to acknowledging how patient you are. See "Rory and Logan: Patience before Prodding."  The one time Logan is not up to his usual vivacious self - at the DAR event Rory is hostessing at the Gilmores house - he excuses himself to the poolhouse and invites his friends to come over to cheer him up.  See #5.

DISCLAIMER: Transcripts are from crazy-internet-people.com.

See also Part 1 and Part 3 of this Logan and Jess play-by-play comparison. 
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Jess and Logan: Comparison of How they Did as Boyfriends, Part 1
During my most recent rewatch of the original series, I noted a number of scenarios that played out between Jess and Rory mirrored situations that later happened between Logan and Rory. In general, Jess was much more attentive to Rory before they were "official," while the opposite is true with Logan. As Rory points out to Jess in S3, Ep10, "That'll Do, Pig", when he refuses to go with her to the winter carnival, he previously went to the Bid-A-Basket and the dance marathon. Jess's response is "That was when I was trying to get you. I now have you. That means I don’t have to go anymore." His jealousy later prompts him to change his mind when he realizes Dean will be there. In contrast, when they start seeing each other, Logan is dating others. The first time they make plans to see one another "not in a group" -during the final scene of S5E14: Say Something - their plans are derailed. We know this via Lorelai and Rory's conversation at their Yale FND in S5E15: Jews and Chinese Food. While Logan told Rory he'd be back "next Saturday," he is apparently gone weeks longer and their first "no group" date doesn't go as planned. We don't have insight into Logan's life at the time so we don't know why he didn't come back when he said he would. It could've been Mitchum or Logan could've extended his partying. Since his "pre-ordained life" had not yet kicked in, I'd actually regard partying the more likely excuse. When they commit, Logan focuses only on Rory.

Another very important distinction between how the two interact with Rory is that Logan accepts Rory exactly as she is, while Jess does not. In S6, E8, "Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out," when Jess visits Rory in Hartford, in short order, he manages to criticize her room, her dress, her tea function, her DAR job, her lack of knowledge of Hartford restaurants, the mere possibility of her bringing him to a chain restaurant, and her dropping out of Yale. That's a lot of condemnation to fit into a brief visit, but Jess manages it.  But this is who he is; the definition of "truncheon," after all, is "a staff or baton acting as a symbol of authority".  This also could be connected to the idea that Logan is patient - he's willing to wait for Rory to come around in her own time. In contrast, Jess is not willing; he points out the things that require "fixing" because he needs them to fixed.

From a film-making perspective, the two characters are depicted differently throughout the run of the series, including AYITL.  Viewers see Jess in one-on-one scenes independent of Rory (with Luke, the principal, his father, etc.), while this is not true of Logan. I think this arms length style of character representation succeeded in prejudicing some viewers against Logan, while the independent scenes of Jess -solidifying his role as a "perspective character" bostered sympathy for the character even when his behavior was far from sympathetic.

Reminder: Season 7 has nothing to do with anything.

(1) Your girlfriend invites you to dinner at her grandmother's. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you say 'no' and suggest she take someone else who can pretend to be you. Then you negotiate so that she gives you her book -that you want to read but she's not done reading - and a kiss; once you're done manipulating her, you call her a manipulator and accuse her of thinking "a lot of herself". 

RORY: It’s a cool book, you’ve gotta admit.
JESS: It is. Thanks.
RORY: Oh, I’m not lending it. I’m not done.
JESS: Well, why’d you show it to me?
RORY: I like showing you the stuff I’m reading.
JESS: But you knew I’d wanna read it. You’re a book tease.
RORY: You’ll get it when I’m done.
JESS: Cruel woman.
RORY: So, are you going to work now?
JESS: Back to the salt mines.
RORY: So, you’re not tied to the hours you have, right? You can trade if you want to.
JESS: There’s some flexibility.
RORY: You got any flexibility next Friday night?
JESS: Yeah, why?
RORY: I thought maybe you could come to dinner with us.
RORY: To my Grandma’s.
JESS: To meet your grandmother.
RORY: Yeah, she’ll be there, so yeah, it might be rude not to introduce the two of you.
JESS: I can’t, I gotta work.
RORY: You just said you could get out.
JESS: I didn’t know what for.
RORY: Jess.
RORY: But I already kind of agreed.
JESS: Aw, man.
RORY: So I’m kinda jammed here.
JESS: Does she know what I look like?
RORY: I don’t think so.
JESS: Perfect. Find someone who vaguely resembles me. Take him. Just don’t kiss him goodnight.
RORY: That’s not going to work.
JESS: Andy Warhol did it all the time.
[Rory gives him the book] We’re just five bucks away from a deal.
RORY: [kisses him] That’s worth five at least.
JESS: You Gilmores think a lot of yourselves. Okay.
RORY: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
JESS: Manipulator.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you ask your girlfriend if it's possible to get out of it.  Upon her answering "no," you reassure your girlfriend with a "Let's do it. It won't be so bad."  Then you make a very un-PC-with-PETA joke about carrier pigeons.

RORY: Listen. You’re going to be getting a note from the Gilmores sometime soon. Maybe in the mail, maybe hand delivered tonight. For all I know, a carrier pigeon is heading for your room as we speak. You might want to open your window.
LOGAN: Why is a carrier pigeon heading here?
RORY: They want to have you over for dinner.
RORY: They’re flipping out about it. She’s sending an apology for being so remiss as to wait one whole week since I had dinner at your house to extend an invitation. I mean, they’re losing it. So I’m calling to warn you, and, I want you to know, I didn’t suggest us having dinner with them or encourage it in any way. And I definitely did not refer to you as my b-word in front of them or even imply it in any way. Because, you know, I’m really happy with the way things have been going and I don’t want any pressure put on us, and I’m sorry, and I think I already said that, and that’s it.
LOGAN: What are the odds of getting out of this?
RORY: Pretty much zero.
LOGAN: Then let’s do it.
RORY: Really?
LOGAN: Yeah, it won’t be so bad.
RORY: Well, you are a true gentleman. [She hears a bang from Logan’s end of the phone.] Oh, my God, what was that?
LOGAN: Carrier pigeon. Should have opened the window.
RORY: Not funny.
LOGAN: Kinda funny.
RORY [smiling]: Bye.

(2) You have a girlfriend. How do you show her she's special to you?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you tell her you will call her but then don't. You refuse to make plans in advance because you "don't live by a schedule." You show up without calling because you expect her to be content waiting for you with your vague assurances of "we'll hook up later." You are blind to the effect this has on your girlfriend because if you weren't you'd see, contrary to thinking "a lot" of herself, she is pretty torn up over the person she's become by allowing you to treat her "like dirt". When she asks you to do things you'd rather not do, you negotiate with her to do things for you in return (See #1) and you let her know just how much of an imposition it is (See #6).

LORELAI: What? He didn’t call? Well, maybe it’s too early. What time is it?
RORY: 9:15.
LORELAI: And when did he say he would call?
RORY: When he got off work.
LORELAI: Which was when?
RORY: It varies.
LORELAI: I’m sorry, I thought you guys had a plan.
RORY: We did.
LORELAI: And the plan was that he calls you whenever because his work time varies?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: Good plan. Bay of Pigs, was that yours, too?
RORY: He’ll call.
LORELAI: Hey, look, you wanna come out with me and Alex? We might go see a midnight movie if something really bad is playing.
RORY: No, thanks.
LORELAI: Just promise me you won’t sit here all night staring at the phone.

RORY: Then I spent about forty minutes cleaning out my hard drive. You would not believe the amount of junk that accumulates – old files, things you’ve downloaded but never opened. It really slows down your CPU.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, I hate a slow CPU.
RORY: Then, all of a sudden, I looked down and I saw all this hair and dust between the keys of my keyboard.
LORELAI: So, naturally, you cleaned your keyboard.
RORY: Yes, and I’ll tell you, it was a strangely satisfying experience.
LORELAI: Uh huh. One question. During this time that you watched TV, did homework, proofread articles for The Franklin, organized my sock drawer, returned emails and gave a much needed cleaning to your computer, did it ever occur to you to call him?
RORY: Because he said he’d call me.
LORELAI: Right. Okay, so then I’m guessing you’re not gonna mention anything to him about your extremely productive evening alone when you see him either.
RORY: Why should I?
LORELAI: No reason I can think of.

RORY: It’s me. I just wanted to let you know that this is the last weekend I spend sitting around like an idiot hoping you’ll call, okay? I’m not going to be that girl. From now on, I want a plan. I mean, a real plan with a time and a place, and I’m tired of hearing ‘Let’s hook up later.’ What does that mean anyway? What’s later? How do I set my watch to later? Later doesn’t cut it anymore, got it? And, yeah, you know, maybe I am spoiled. But guess what? I like being spoiled. I plan to go on being spoiled. And if that doesn't sound like something that you can or want to do, then fine. I'm sure you'll find another girl who doesn't mind sitting around cleaning her keyboard on a Friday night hoping you’ll call, but it’s not going to be me. Oh, yeah, this is a message for Jess.

RORY: I don't understand. One minute he's happy, then he's not. And he doesn't tell me anything ever. I mean, you're supposed to tell your girlfriend things. That's the whole point of having a girlfriend, isn't it?
LORELAI: Yes, it is. Now, Kyle's bedroom, what happened there?
RORY: And I'm so tired of fighting. Or not even fighting because he won't fight. He just gets mad and disappears and then comes back and I don't like how I feel and I don't like what I do.
LORELAI: Like what you do where, in Kyle's bedroom?
RORY: I don't wanna feel like this, I don't wanna sit around wondering when we're going to talk, if he's mad, why he's mad. I hate this. I really, really
Honey, you gotta tell Mommy what happened in Kyle's bedroom!
RORY: Jess was upset and I went to look for him and we were kissing and then it seemed like he wanted to. . .
LORELAI: Did you?
RORY: No, I didn't. And then he got all weird like he was mad at me.
LORELAI: Hey, if he was mad at you because you wouldn't have sex with him, then he's a jerk.
RORY: I know that, but I don't even know if that's why he's mad at me. I don't know if he's mad at me. I don't know anything because he won't talk. He just sulks then disappears, and just when you're through with him, he shows up at hockey games with Distiller tickets.
LORELAI: Distiller tickets? What Distiller tickets?
RORY: Oh, that's right, you don't know about that because I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed because I didn't wanna be that girl and you don't want me to be that girl, but after the hockey game, I was that girl.
LORELAI: What girl? Help me, drag me along, honey.
RORY: The girl who lets her boyfriend treat her like dirt and then lies to her mom about it.
LORELAI: Okay, you need a breath here.
RORY: Something's going on with him and it's been going on for awhile.
LORELAI: You can't make him talk, Rory. He has to want to.
RORY: But why doesn't he want to?
LORELAI: Because it's probably hard for him. [Car waiting]
LORELAI: Hey, we're not leaving. We're gonna live in this car and we're gonna die in this car, so find another frickin' spot... Honey. . .
RORY: I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm just. . .tired.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...you tell her how much you miss her. You make plans with her. You surprise her with gifts and fun weekends. You humor her when she seems to be acting out-of-character by accompanying her on joyrides on "borrowed" yachts. You ask her if your father is treating her well on her internship.  You patiently wait for her whenever she has something else she needs to get done. You invite her to move in with you when her roommate kicks her out. You help whenever asked - getting a sound system for a party she's organizing and even when not - you chip in to save the day when her newspaper is at risk. You even invite her mother and mother's boyfriend along for a romantic weekend so that your girlfriend is happy. You cover her with a blanket when she falls asleep in your dorm room during an all-night poker game. You insist she take your limo when she has a family emergency and has to get home in a hurry. You provide an "in" for her on an article she wants to write. You help her escape unwanted attention at a party. Oh, right. The last four were before she was your girlfriend.

LOGAN: So he treating you all right?
RORY: Who, your dad? They’ve been great.
LOGAN: You sure?
RORY: Yeah?
LOGAN: Just checking. So what do you think about Friday.
RORY: An excellent alternative to Thursday.
LOGAN: My sister’s engagement party?
RORY: Oh, right. I’m going to try. I’m dying to see the yacht.
LOGAN: Well, it’s going to be full of Honor’s ditzy friends, but the harbor’s cool. Try and leave your grandparent’s dinner early. They get you every Friday night, why not let me have one?
RORY: You’re very onenote today.
LOGAN: Well, I miss you, Ace.
RORY: Well, I’ll have more free time once finals are over and summer’s here, unless I get that summer job here.

LOGAN: What the hell is wrong with you?
RORY: Nothing. I’m just in a weird mood.
LOGAN: I’ll say.
RORY: I’m sorry, I just – can we go somewhere else?
LOGAN: What?
RORY: Let’s go somewhere else. I don’t really feel like being around people.
LOGAN: Okay, name it.
RORY: Will your sister mind?
LOGAN: I’ve been here for an hour and a half, I’ve talked to everybody. My duty is done. Where do you want to go?
RORY: I don’t know. Somewhere. Far. Out there.
LOGAN: Where?
RORY: Out to sea.
LOGAN: Out to sea.
RORY: Yeah. Let’s take that fancypants yacht of yours for a spin.
LOGAN: Tricky, since it’s about to head out with all of my sister’s friends on it.
RORY: Oh. Well, don’t you have another one?
LOGAN: Not here.
RORY: Well, where’s the other one?
LOGAN: Far away. Let’s just drive somewhere. Let’s go to New York.
RORY: I don’t want to drive. I want to be out there, just the two of us. Alone.
LOGAN: Well –
RORY: You know the beginning of Moby Dick, when the narrator says that when he finds himself growing grim about the mouth and wanted to knock people’s hats off, he takes to the sea?
LOGAN: Yeah.
RORY: Well I feel like knocking people’s hats off.
LOGAN: So I guess we got to take to the sea.

LOGAN: Come back to bed!
RORY: I can't.
LOGAN: We see each other less since we've been living together.
RORY: I know it seems that way.
LOGAN: It is that way.
RORY: We'll have time.
LOGAN: Not unless we make time, let's go away this weekend.
RORY: This weekend's bad.
LOGAN: Every weekend's bad.
RORY: This one is particularly bad.
LOGAN: They're all bad. Now come on. It's Valentine's Day.
RORY: That's not till next week.
LOGAN: This weekend's Valentine's weekend. Come on let's go somewhere.
RORY: I can't.
LOGAN: Rory…
RORY: No, even if I did get time away, I promised my mom I'd try to hang out with her, even if it was just for dinner. I haven't seen her in ages.
LOGAN: But she doesn't kiss as good as I do.
RORY: You don't know that.
LOGAN: True.
RORY: She's been down lately. I kinda want to cheer her up.
LOGAN: Then invite her along. We can have a kissing contest.
RORY: Bring my mother?
LOGAN: Ah. And tell her to bring that guy she's with. What's his name? Luke?
RORY: Really? You'd be up for that?
LOGAN: Absolutely.
RORY: Well I'd have to drop a lot of things.
LOGAN: That's what things are for.  To be dropped.
RORY: I'll think about it.
LOGAN: Promise?
RORY: Yes. Now you have to let me go.
LOGAN: That's the worst offer I've gotten all day. [Logan kisses Rory on the cheek]

(3) Your girlfriend asks you about things you'd rather she not know. What do you do?
IF YOU ARE JESS...you are evasive, misleading, and you lie. Of course, when the shoe is on the other foot you are a hypocrite, asking her to be open and upfront with you. In "Swan Song," Jess is upset to find out via a flyer that Rory sat with Dean at a show in Miss Patty's studio. He says, "Just tell me these things first so I don’t have to read about them on telephone poles." Later, when Rory asks about his black eye he refuses to tell her how he got it, even after she asks repeatedly. Jess later comments how important honesty is to a relationship right before he lies to her. It's not an important lie, one done just to save him from embarrassment.  He could have easily told the truth (football in eye versus beaked by a swan) so it's really there as an indicator of what's to come. His comment on "good relationships" comes off as mocking, given the fact that he lies immediately after saying it. That Jess has no friends we know of and tossing a football seems out of character for him, it's surprising that Rory believes him.

RORY: Jess, were you in a fight?
JESS: I told you, it’s a long story, I don’t wanna talk about it.
RORY: Why?
JESS: Look, Rory, I’m already in a crappy mood. Traffic sucked. Traffic I hit going to a function I didn’t particularly wanna go to. And I’m thirsty. And I’m hungry. So let’s eat. So do we eat standing up?
RORY: Over there.
RORY: You’re being a jerk to my grandmother, too.
JESS: Hey, I’m doing my best. If that means I’m being a jerk, then that’s what I am. I didn’t even wanna come.
RORY: No one made you.
JESS: You made me. Now I’ve seen it all.
RORY: You embarrassed me in front of her.
JESS: That’s it, I’ve had it.
RORY: So have I.
JESS: If you’re gonna harp on this, I’m leaving.
RORY: Oh, great, so now I have to explain to my Grandma why my boyfriend who showed up a half-hour late with a black eye is walking out.
JESS: Well, you like making up stories in your head so that should be easy for you.

RORY: So what happened?
JESS: I don’t –
RORY: Come on. It wasn’t Dean, you can say.
JESS: Will that make you happy?
RORY: Yes, very.
JESS: Okay, I’ll tell you the truth, since we’re both so into the truth tonight. That’s what good relationships are about, right?
RORY: Right.
JESS: But you’ve gotta promise not to mock me ever, and please don’t tell anyone else.
RORY: Promise.
JESS: I was throwing a football with a buddy and got hit in the eye.
RORY: You poor thing.
JESS: Yeah.
RORY: But that’s not embarrassing.
JESS: Yeah, now that you mention it, it’s not.

RORY: So how was school?
JESS: Same ol', same ol'.
RORY: You're still doing okay?
JESS: Doing my reading, writing, and arithmetic.
RORY: And you're still going, right?
JESS: What? Where's this coming from?
RORY: There's been speculation.
JESS: From who?
RORY: My mom asked whether you're going full time to school.
JESS: Your mom?
RORY: Yeah.
JESS: Why's she so interested?
RORY: Because you're dating her daughter.
JESS: Oh, great, what else does she think I did? Start the fire, put Phil Spector up to it?
RORY: I told her yes, you were going.
JESS: Well, as they say on the Family Feud, good answer.
RORY: So, I didn't lie to her?
JESS: Look, don't worry, I got it under control.
RORY: Jess.
JESS: I'm going enough. I've been picking up some extra shifts here and there, but I'm fine. It's Mickey Mouse stuff anyway. What it takes the others hours to learn, it takes me minutes.
RORY: Well, if you're behind. . .
JESS: I'm not behind.
RORY: But if you get behind, I can help you catch up.
JESS: Got it covered.
RORY: If you say so.
JESS: I do.
RORY: Okay.


IF YOU ARE LOGAN...once confronted, you tell her the truth. Logan viewed their time apart as them being broken up. Ghosting is certainly an acknowledged break-up technique today; Logan and Lorelai were apparently ahead of their time. (Lorelai broke up with Jason Stiles the same way; she broke up with him while he was "giving her space". Unlike Logan who had a string of meaningless one-night stands, Lorelai actually started a new relationship (with Luke) during this "cooling off period".)  Logan tries to convince Rory to skip her post panel mixer and join him at the rehearsal dinner where the bridesmaids would all be in attendance. Why would he do this if he thought he had something to hide? We see Dean and Jess both lie to Rory. Jess about attending school and the black eye. Dean about his intentions to break up with Lindsey. We do not ever see Logan lie to Rory. We see him not tell her something but once confronted, he comes clean. If ever there was a time to lie, this would've been it! In this same episode, Doyle nuzzles Rory's neck and she doesn't tell Logan. So she has a similiar tendency to bury information when she regards it as not meeting the "need to know" test. She knows this about herself and it probably supports her reasoning to say things are "okay" when they are not, in fact, "okay."

LOGAN: Here you are.
RORY: Here I am.
LOGAN: I was looking all over for you. I didn't see you when I was walking down the aisle. Looked for you during the ceremony. Where were you?
RORY: Here.
LOGAN: Here? You missed the wedding?
RORY: I'll apologize to Honor later.
LOGAN: Forget Honor. What's going on? Rory.
RORY: You didn't say a word. You just let me walk into a room full of girls you'd had sex with. Oh, no, wait. I'm sorry. You only had sex with two of them. One you just "fooled around with," whatever that means. She spared me the parameters of the fooling around. You want to fill me in?
LOGAN: Rory.
RORY: You know what? Never mind. I've got a good imagination. I can figure it out.
LOGAN: Okay, look.
RORY: I can't believe it, you didn't just cheat on me, you really cheated on me.
LOGAN: I didn't cheat on you.
RORY: Oh, so you didn't sleep with…
LOGAN: No, I did, but we were broken up.
RORY: No, you were broken up, not me. I thought we were just taking some time.
LOGAN: Apart, not seeing each other.
RORY: Yes, taking some time, not seeing each other for a while. That doesn't mean "broken up."
LOGAN: Oh, come on.
RORY: No! When… To break up, you have to tell the other person. You can't just decide that you're broken off and then just go off and...god, I can't believe I fell for all your stupid tricks, the coffee cart and going to my mother. You went to my mother. Why would you bother going through that? You had plenty of backup. What do you need me for?
LOGAN: Because I love you.
RORY: No. Don't.
LOGAN: Rory, I didn't cheat on you. I didn't lie to you.
RORY: You didn't tell me.
LOGAN: Of course not. Why would I want you to be hurt and upset and angry?
RORY: "Blondie, dizzy", I love the cover, pretending all those girls were worthless idiots.
LOGAN: They are worthless idiots, shooting their mouths off in front of you like that.
RORY: It's not their fault.
LOGAN: It is their fault. They love doing crap like this, causing trouble.
RORY: We were only apart for like two seconds, and you managed to sleep with every one of your sister's friends. How did you even do that? I mean, did you work them in shifts? Were there charts, signals, B-12 shots?
LOGAN: I was depressed. I was lonely. I was upset. I've known these girls forever. It was just companionship, okay? It meant nothing.
RORY: Don't be at the apartment between 10:00 and 1:00 tomorrow so I can get my stuff.

DOYLE: I didn't have to come back here begging you to talk to me. I have options.
PARIS: Right.
DOYLE: I do! In fact, I almost hooked up with a really hot chick tonight.
RORY: I don't see how that's gonna help your case, Doyle, at all. [to Logan] Know what Fine. Let's take this out into the hall.

RORY: Two minutes. Go.
LOGAN: Look, I understand that you're upset, and I really wish you hadn't found out like that, but I love you. You know that I love you. When I said that I was your boyfriend, I agreed to be faithful to you, which was a first for me. And I thought it was gonna be hard, but it wasn't. Then I asked you to move in with me, I asked you to move in with me, and I thought that was gonna be hard, but it wasn't. I have been completely faithful to you, Rory. I have not been with another girl.
LOGAN: I've not even thought about another girl.
RORY: Except for Walker, Alexandra...
LOGAN: We were broken up, Rory.
RORY: No, you were.
LOGAN: I thought we were broken up. I thought that's what the fight was. I thought that's what the separation was. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I honestly thought we weren't together?
RORY: I guess.
LOGAN: So then, if you believe that, that I thought we weren't together, then do you believe that, in my mind, I was not cheating on you?
RORY: I guess.
LOGAN: So then if you believe that, in my mind, I was not cheating on you, do you think you can forget what those vipers said today, put it behind you, and just come home with me? Come on, Rory. Just come home with me. Let's forget this crappy day ever happened, just go home. You want to make a pro/con list?
RORY: Do not mock my pro/con list.
LOGAN: I am not mocking your pro/con list. I actually think the list will come out in my favor.
RORY: Well, I'd have to tell Paris I'm going.
LOGAN: Absolutely, tell Paris you're going.
RORY: [opens the apartment door] Whoa! Oh!
LOGAN: What?
RORY: They made up. Either that or Krav Maga is way kinkier than I thought it was.
LOGAN: Well, you can tell her tomorrow. After all, it is tomorrow.
RORY: Yeah, yeah, I can just call her from home.
LOGAN: Hey. We okay?
RORY: Yeah.

DISCLAIMER: Transcripts are from crazy-internet-people.com.

See also Part 2 and Part 3 of this Logan and Jess play-by-play comparison. 

Inside the Monkey Habitat on Fanfiction.net

Inside the Monkey Habitat on Archive of Our Own.org

NOTE: Visual Aid for Epilogue/Chapter 49.

NOTE: Hm. From S1, Ep. 10, Forgiveness and Stuff. I'm starting to wonder about that not having enough folks for a parade thing.

NOTE: The seating is much closer than depicted here and there are tables placed throughout.

Is Taylor really a Schnauzer?

The Dining Room at the Dragonfly Annex.

Baby in a Pork Pie Hat. Courtesy of Etsy.

Table Seating is for Chapter 33


From Season 5, Episode 18: Live and Let Diorama


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